Song of the Day:
"Do you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain...."
that's it. today it is decided.
i am going to start to write a how-to book for embarrassing situations....
"A no-holds-bar manual on how to feel like a fool in every situation"
the first technique[how to get male/female attention...b/c hey any attention is good attention...right? no wait...that's publicity.] :
don't check the weather reports as you get dressed. make sure that you wear the one white shirt that you own that does not have any lining to it....OH...and don't forget the bright white bra...[**THE BRA IS KEY** and the thinner the better]
THEN[and this is the most crucial part] park far away from the place that you are needing to go[b/c in your romanticized notions you love to walk through a park on the way to school], and leave your umbrella in the car...then...if you can time things just perfectly so that you get caught in the downpour that is adding significantly to the inches of rain fall to your respective region[especially in new orleans]...
after hiding under the sparse foliage of trees scattered along the way...proceed to make a break for the nearest campus building foyer just as you think the rain is going to let up but then gets harder as you are running...again try to time it so that you are walking up to the building right as a class of 18-21 year olds [mainly men] are getting out of class...
wring out your hair, try to cover your unintended wet t-shirt entry, and let the embarrassment begin...
if you want to up the anty, you can again try to make a break for your intended building while it's still raining--you have things you have to do right...deadlines don't wait on rain... [ AND b/c standing around in a drenched, clinging see-through t-shirt in front of STRANGERS is not embarrassing enough]
then as you are approaching your building, looking like you just jumped into a pool with your clothes on[which is way more fun] make sure to come across your thesis advisor and talk for a bit...who before that moment you questioned his sexual prefrence...[no more mind you...he's straight]
to make it even better...proceed directly to the bathroom to "towel off" a second time....but then make sure that your computer lab is unbelievably FREEZING....
Use these techniques there is not a doubt in my mind that you will get ALL SORTS of attention...and feel like a cold, still damp, moron.
BUT HEY!! it's only monday....the rest of the week is waiting for your new and untried antics....
[this could only get better if i were to catch a cold in the next day or so...and i'm already sneezing]
posted by ekeith @ 1:56 PM
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